I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
