I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
