plz talk dirty to me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
