We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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