well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Randomize
