i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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