he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
