He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
