just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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