thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
