Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
