You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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