Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
