Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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