Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All I want is dick and wine.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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