I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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