I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
