I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
