you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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