hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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