You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
