you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
