If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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