I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
