I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
