I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Quick, to the slutcave!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
