She is in my trunk
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
