I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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