Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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