So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
