3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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