Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
