Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
