i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ketchup is God's man juice
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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