Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
