so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
