i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
