i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
