Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
