i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
