I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
