This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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