I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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