No awkward lesbian experiences without me
This girl is more easily done than said...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
