There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
