so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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