Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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