She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
