I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
