look no pants
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
